This is Part 1 in my blog series about bringing animals into your life.
We human beings are fortunate that there are animals who want to spend their lives with us! Indeed, it can be very gratifying to bring an animal into our lives and finding the right match is an important first step. We humans have expectations and needs that we bring to the relationship, whether it is a cat that needs to use the litter box or the dog we don’t want chewing on our shoes. I’d like to give voice to the needs and experiences that animals bring into their relationships with us.
A story from my own experience: after my dog Casey died in 2017 of ill health and old age, his absence left a void. The summer after he died, I drove out to the humane society when I saw a photo online of one of their adoptable dogs named Jax. With his brown and white face, and perked up ears he looked very smart and interested in the world. He was three years old and I wanted to meet him.
When I arrived at the shelter and saw Jax’s slim 40 pound frame slumped on an old blanket in his kennel, my heart sank. He stared ahead when I called to him and I felt like I just wanted to get him out of there. Because he was not responding, I decided to give him space and walked around to meet the other available dogs. After patting some of their heads, and reading their bios, I eventually made my way back to Jax’s pen. I smiled when I saw that he was standing and wagging his tail. I held my hand to the gate so he could sniff out what information he needed about who I was.
One of the shelter volunteers came over and suggested I spend time with Jax in an outdoor pen where he eagerly chased an orange tennis ball, bringing it back to me each time to continue the game. I asked to take him on a short walk which we both enjoyed but at the end of our visit together, I noticed that he did not look back at me as he was led back to his kennel.
Still, I placed a twenty-four-hour hold on him. In the quiet space that followed me home, I had a sense that Jax wanted to be with a family who had children whom he could support growing up. This insight surprised me as I really felt that not only was I looking for the right dog, but Jax was looking for the right human! I called the next day and released the hold. I saw that he was adopted soon after.
They say, “cats choose their owners” and I have come to believe that when given a choice, other animals do too. Certainly when I went to a “meet and greet” through a dog rescue organization soon after releasing Jax, I felt that my dog Blaze picked me out of the crowd, especially since I had gone with my heart set on another dog!
With that said, we humans make the ultimate decisions for animals’ lives. The more awareness we have about our needs and what we can offer an animal, the more successful we will be in finding a good match. Some things to keep in mind:
Know what you can and can’t do. Pets are expensive, taking care of them requires good nutrition, regular vet visits and sometimes special supplements, training or all of the above. Consider the resources you will need in terms of pet caregivers when you are traveling, money, time, physical space and extra attention that my be required.
Animals are making a choice too, pay attention to their body language
Give your new pet time to adjust to your home. Patience is essential for your new pet as well as for yourself.
For animals who need training such as horses and dogs: find the right balance between training and rest. Rest is an important factor in a successful outcome.
Reassure your new companion(s) that you are glad for this chance to get to know them and that you will do your best to care for them, either as a new member of the family or in helping them find a better fit.